A time comes in your life when you finally get it—when,
in the midst of all your fears and insanity, you stop dead in your tracks
and somewhere the voice inside your head cries out “ENOUGH!”
Enough fighting and crying or struggling to hold on. And, like a child
quieting down after a blind tantrum, your sobs begin to subside, you
shudder once or twice, you blink back your tears and begin to look at
the world through new eyes.
This is your awakening.
You realize it’s time to stop hoping and waiting for something
to change or for happiness, safety, and security to come galloping over
the next horizon. You come to terms with the fact you are neither Prince
Charming nor Cinderella. That, in the real world, there aren’t
always fairy tale endings (or beginnings, for that matter). That any
guarantee of “happily ever after” must begin with you—and
in the process, a sense of serenity is born of acceptance. You awaken
to the fact you are not perfect and not everyone will always love, appreciate,
or approve of who or what you are… and that’s OK. They are
entitled to their own
views and opinions.
You learn the importance of loving and championing yourself—and
in the process, a sense of newfound confidence is born of self approval.
You stop complaining and blaming other people for the things they did
to you (or didn’t do for you) and you learn the only thing you
can really count on is the unexpected.
You learn people don’t always say what they mean or mean what
they say, and not everyone will always be there for you, and it’s
not always about you. So you learn to stand on your own and to take
care of yourself—and in the process, a sense of safety and security
is born of self-reliance. You stop judging and pointing fingers and
you begin to accept people as they are and overlook their shortcomings
and human frailties—and in the process, a sense of peace and contentment
is born of forgiveness.
You realize much of the way you view yourself and the world around
you is as a result of all the messages and opinions that have been ingrained
into your psyche. You begin to sift through all the junk you’ve
been fed about how you should behave, how you should look, how much
you should weigh, what you should wear, what you should do for a living,
how much money you should make, what you should drive, how and where
you should live, who you should marry, the importance of having and
raising children, and what you owe your parents, family, and friends.
You learn to open up to new worlds and different points of view. You
begin reassessing and redefining who you are and what you really stand
for. You learn to go with your instincts. You learn it is truly in giving
that we receive. That there is power and glory in creating and contributing
and you stop maneuvering through life merely as a “consumer”
looking for your next fix. You learn principles such as honesty and
integrity are not the outdated ideals of a bygone era but the mortar
that holds together the foundation upon which you must build a life.
You learn you don’t know everything, it’s not your job to
save the world and you can’t teach a pig to sing. You learn to
distinguish between guilt and responsibility and the importance of setting
boundaries and learning to say NO. You learn the only cross to bear
is the one you choose to carry and that martyrs get burned at the stake.
Then you learn about love. How to love, how much to give in love, when
to stop giving and when to walk away.
You learn to look at relationships as they really are and not as you
would have them be. You stop trying to control people, situations, and
outcomes. You learn alone does not mean lonely. You also stop working
so hard at putting your feelings aside, smoothing things over and ignoring
your needs. You learn feelings of entitlement are perfectly OK, and
it is your right to want things and to ask for the things you want—and
sometimes it is necessary to make demands. You come to the realization
you deserve to be treated with love, kindness, sensitivity, and respect—and
you won’t settle for less.
And you learn that your body really is your temple. And you begin to
care for it and treat it with respect. You begin to eat a balanced diet,
drink more water, and take more time to exercise. You learn being tired
fuels doubt, fear, and uncertainty and so you take more time to rest.
Just as food fuels the body, laughter fuels our soul. So you take more
time to laugh and to play. You learn for the most part, you get in life
what you believe you deserve—and much of life truly is a self-fulfilling
prophecy. You learn anything worth achieving is worth working for and
wishing for something to happen is different from working toward making
it happen. More importantly, you learn in order to achieve success you
need direction, discipline, and perseverance.
You also learn no one can do it all alone—and that it’s okay
to risk asking for help. You learn the only thing you must truly fear
is the greatest robber baron of all: FEAR itself. You learn to step
right into and through your fears because you know whatever happens
you can handle it and to give in to fear is to give away the right to
live life on your own terms. You learn to fight for your life and not
to squander it living under a cloud of impending doom. You learn life
isn’t always fair, you don’t always get what you think you
deserve, and bad things sometimes happen to unsuspecting, good people.
On these occasions you learn to not personalize things. You learn God
isn’t punishing you or failing to answer your prayers. It’s
just life happening. You learn to deal with evil in its most primal
state—the ego. You learn negative feelings such as anger, envy,
and resentment must be understood and redirected or they will suffocate
the life out of you and poison the universe that surrounds you. You
learn to admit when you are wrong and to build bridges instead of walls.
You learn to be thankful and to take comfort in many of the simple things
we take for granted, things millions of people upon the earth can only
dream about: a full refrigerator, clean running water, a soft warm bed,
a long hot shower.
Slowly, you begin to take responsibility for yourself by yourself and
you make yourself a promise to never betray yourself and to never, ever
settle for less than your heart’s desire. You hang a wind chime
outside your window so you can listen to the wind. You make it a point
to keep smiling, to keep trusting, and to stay open to every wonderful
possibility. Finally, with courage in your heart and God by your side,
you take a stand, you take a deep breath, and you begin to design as
best you can the life you want to live.